Halloween is over and we survived with candy to spare – we spent exactly $20 on the first holiday of the most expensive season of the year.  Damn near all traditions honored October through February can be reduced to two things: eating and spending.  And what is a delicious meal if not a good excuse to spend money?  With just one paycheck before Thanksgiving and three between Thanksgiving and Christmas, its time to plan how we’ll survive without buying on credit or tapping into our savings accounts.

For Thanksgiving, I have a theory: More is Better.  More people that is.  Whatever family member is brave enough to surrender their home and their kitchen to the food-fest should only have to buy the turkey and maybe the stuffing.  There is no reason each other guest can’t contribute an item or two.  Aunts Sally and Rita can make a couple pies each, Dorris can bring her famous green bean casserole, Grandma Jean and Grandpa John can bring the mashed and sweet potatoes and even the craziest aunt, uncle or cousin can probably handle rolls or (gasp) store-bought cranberry sauce.  The hosts will have so much less to worry about, everyone can just relax and have a good time.

I realize that for some family members, football competes with turkey for the most important part of this holiday.  I’m sure you’re shaking your heads lamenting missing that “game changing” play while you’re slaving in the kitchen.  To this I say:  Man Up.  DVR it or if you have to, turn the tv up loud for the less than 60 minutes you’ll probably be in the kitchen.  Make the food the day before so you can just heat it up the day of.  Everyone loves leftovers anyway so this will taste as good or better than if the poor hosts had been cooking nonstop since 4am.  Give one dish and you shall receive many; you’ll catch up on zzzzz’s after the tryptophan kicks in.

This way, the cost of the meal is shared relatively equally.  In 2009, the average cost of a basic Thanksgiving dinner for 10 people including a 16 lb. turkey was $42.91.  Completely manageable if divided among 8 or more people.  Besides, knowing I’m not the host (read: I don’t have to be the one putting the turkey in at 5am and washing the dishes after the meal), I’d be willing to spend half that much on ingredients for the side dish and beverage(s) I’ll be bringing.  Show me a way to avoid trashing my house on a holiday weekend and I’ll show you a man who is truly thankful.

I’m feeling a little guilty that instead of approaching our baby’s first Halloween with excitement, I’m worried.  What will happen when we run out of candy to give the neighborhood kids?  I’ve come all too close to the Sue Sylvester school of thought and I don’t like where that’s headed.

Kidding aside, I’ve already decided I don’t care if we’re the “cheap candy” house this year.  Beggars can’t be choosers, no matter how cute/scary/strangely they are dressed.  Don’t misunderstand me: I love Halloween and have gone “all out” a number of times . . . but this year we are trying to afford two Christmas plane tickets.

According to this study by Visa, the average family with any kids under 18 spends about $54 dollars on just candy and decorations for Halloween.  (Roughly 10% of our estimated ticket cost)  With costumes, this holiday can be quite an investment.  If we were buying our costumes, I estimate we’d be out at least $40 per person.  We did luck out this year in a number of ways: our 11 month old can’t walk yet, so we will probably just stay at home and let him help us give out candy.  Grandma sent us a little pirate-themed onesie about a month ago, so we’ll add a homemade eye patch, some existing pants, goofy black and orange socks found in the dollar bin at Target and have a makeshift baby Halloween costume just right for staying at home and taking a couple pictures.

As for the wife and I?  We didn’t get invited to any parties, so the wife is still deciding if she cares enough to make a costume. I figure I can dig that last-year’s clearance bin skeleton wind chime out of the attic, recycle last year’s Spiderman costume for $0 and if I have the energy, use twine from the garage to make this our house’s primary decoration.  We’ll buy our candy the morning of Halloween, hoping the stores are marking it 50% off by then.  You know, the more I think about it, the less guilty I feel for avoiding some of the hype this year.  I’d rather spend the money when our son is old enough to really understand what its all about.

Last month we completely emptied our freezer and pantry since we couldn’t afford to buy groceries. This month we had free food thrown at us left and right.  Since there is no free lunch, the trade-off was we had to help a friend move from Houston to Austin.  All weekend.  This involved heavy furniture and winding staircases.  And sleeping on a half-deflated air mattress.  BUT, we didn’t pay for a meal from Friday night through Sunday morning.  Pizza, beer, breakfast tacos and coffee, leftover pizza, Wendy’s, donuts and coffee, and more pizza.  Carb-heavy? Yes.  Nutritionally sound?  Not so much.   I figure those five meals and drinks saved us at least $25, even accounting for what we would prepare at home.  Yes, I’m considering the supreme pizza toppings a serving of vegetables.  Hey, at least we sweat out a few calories hauling heavy awkward boxes down the stairs and onto the moving truck.

Right before we went away for the weekend, we spent $500 restocking our pathetically empty freezer and pantry with an overzealous Sam’s Club trip.  Yes, we sleazily borrowed a friend’s card rather than renew our own membership. We just couldn’t justify paying full price for something we only do 4 times a year.

A large portion of our money this trip was spent on formula, diapers and wipes.  Those are non-negotiable at this point.  We also put some dollars into the things that got us through last month without feeling too malnourished or deprived: frozen fruit and veggies and cheap protein sources. Lots of spinach, edamame, and stir-fry veggies, canned beans, canned tuna, massive jar of peanut butter and 5 lbs. of protein powder.  My wife used to give me dirty looks about buying something so “frivolous” . . . not the case any more since learning the bulk bag yields 76 servings of protein for less than $30.

This purchase I’m less proud of:  Jimmy Dean D’Lights: turkey sausage, egg white and cheese on an english muffin.  Goes from freezer to my mouth after two minutes in the microwave and somehow isn’t that high in fat or calories.  These worked out to barely cheaper than the dollar menu at about $0.86 each. We splurged here, planning for those days I wake up late or the wife and baby have back to back morning appointments.   At least they’ll give us a break from the oatmeal.

We’re about 3/4 of the way through our cheap, carbohydrate-laden, “eat what’s in the pantry” experiment.  I thought we were sure to gain tons of weight eating  bread, rice, tortillas, peanut butter, and oatmeal but I think I’ve figured out some reasons we seem to be just maintaining our weight.  We’ve been watching portion sizes; needing to stretch our food has made us re-think second helpings.  Almost more significantly, the actual desire to eat anything containing oatmeal, peanut butter, or  the combination of rice/chicken/diced tomatoes has been severely lessened over the past week.  We are now struggling to combine the same limited ingredients and feel like we’re eating something new – spices have made a small difference:

We’ve had Mexican casserole (chicken, rice, tomatoes taco seasoning and black beans), Italian casserole (chicken, rice, dried basil, fennel, and the last of the cheese), vegetarian chili (tomatoes, corn, beans, celery and onion with chili powder in the crockpot), and random canned veggie and SPAM casserole (don’t ask).  We’ve and bean and tomato quesadillas (more like tacos, since they didn’t stick together well without cheese) and also tried peanut butter and jelly quesadillas when the bread ran out.  One guilty pleasure this weekend was a crust-less pumpkin pie using canned pumpkin, eggs and evaporated milk.  We weren’t sure we had enough butter for an actual crust.   There was nonstick spray on the pan, then oatmeal, flour, brown sugar and applesauce adding some crunch to the bottom of this slightly unusual but delicious dessert.  It was gone in two days.

We are left with: oatmeal, a few eggs, some milk, the protein powder, some frozen veggies, two overripe bananas, a can of tomatoes, a can of baked beans, two hot dogs, pasta, tomato puree, peanut butter and jelly, condiments, baking supplies and spices.

Today I’ll make more bread and my wife will attempt peanut butter oatmeal cookies. We are trying to decide between using the bananas for banana bread or for peanut butter and banana sandwiches.  We may go with sandwiches so we can attempt a quiche or omelettes with the eggs and frozen veggies.  We know we’ll have meatless spaghetti with the pasta, tomatoes, tomato puree and Italian spices.  We can do smoothies with the protein powder, milk, ice cubes and peanut butter.  We just need to make it until Friday.

I’m lucky my wife is a morning person because she woke up and made coffee.  As I write she is making oatmeal with brown sugar and blueberries for us for breakfast.  She likes oatmeal more than I do but due to its incredibly low cost per serving and the simple fact we have some, I’ve gotten used to it.

Remember, we had ten dollars at the start of this adventure and we’re five days in.  When we bought our groceries, I thought meat was most important, she wanted fruit.

Here is what we wanted to buy:

Chicken breasts, 1 dozen eggs, 2 bunches of bananas, 1 gallon milk, one onion, one package of celery, corn tortillas, and some other kind of fruit.

Here is what we could afford:

Chicken – we couldn’t get the boneless skinless that we wanted but we did thighs, priced 5 lbs for 5 dollars, so we found a package a little over 2 lbs. – $2.19

Eggs – one dozen for $0.98

Hot Dogs – $0.99

Celery – $1.25

Milk – 1/2 gallon for $1.99

One onion – $0.56

20 corn tortillas – $0.96

2 lbs of banannas – $0.80

Here is most of what we already had:  Rice, oatmeal, pasta, canned beans, canned veggies and baking supplies.

Yeah, we are set in the carb department since we have rice, tortillas and basic baking supplies.  We’ve been eating homemade bread since day two of this experiment.  Here is what we have been eating:

Chicken and black bean enchiladas(only used one and a half thighs in the whole recipe), Franks and Beans, Peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a glass of milk, and oatmeal with blueberries or banana for breakfast.  I think the blueberries are almost gone.  My wife says she’s making a casserole tonight with some of the chicken and canned veggies.  I gotta say, this experiment is not as bad as I thought it would be.  I know there are families out there that have things a lot worse.  Maybe this will teach us that having 50 choices of what to eat, whether it is in a restaurant or in your own kitchen, isn’t the be all and end all of culinary happiness.