It’s been almost four years since I purchased my awesome Mercedes-Benz 300SD off eBay (yes … I bought a car on eBay).

As a quick recap …

A friend recommended old diesel Mercs because of their reliability and low cost to own.  I didn’t quite know anything about those cars, but he owned a few of his own, and I trusted his opinion.  So before I bid $4,700 on a clean 1984 300SD, I went down to Detroit, met the seller, and test drove the car.

I purchased it straight cash, and put around $2,000 in maintenance and repairs over last 4 years.  The maintenance cost was somewhat reduced by the website I used to maintain (300sd.com), but then it got hacked (a lot) and I shut it down.

Well … It’s four years later, she has a few more dull spots lacking clear-coat, but she’s the same brown bomber I fell in love with :) A few major checks coming up — timing chain, front end, but nothing too critical.

Overall, the car has been a blessing.  Practically nothing to maintain, solid, reliable, comfortable, classy … you give her a little love, she pays back sevenfold.

And more importantly, I am now 29 years old, and I’ve never had a car payment in my life!

And you thought American cars were crappy … Here are some prime examples of the crappiness that some Ukrainians have to put up with. These cars represent the crappy legacy of the crappy Soviet automotive industry.

This one is called “Moskvitch” (The Moskovite). It’s a tiny compact designed in the 70’s in the USSR. Somehow, these little four-cylinder gremlins are still roaming the streets of the former USSR.

This next one is also a four-cylinder compact (what a surprise). It’s called “Lada”, Model 2105, or simply, “pyatyorka” (means “Number Five”). It was considered a pretty nice car back in the 80’s in the USSR, probably an equivalent of a Toyota. Needless to say, it’s crappy though it looks decent in its boxiness.

I wish I could give you more pics (I have tons), but I’m sitting on the crappy Ukrainian dial-up connection measuring a whopping 33.6 kbps on a good day. Oh, and I get disconnected a lot.

More about my vacation – later …

That word is Japanese for ‘hell’.

This sad little number was discovered in one of the parking lots in Michigan. Yes, my supersweet Mercedes-Benz 300SD is parked behind it.

What makes this car worthy of posting here? Its pitiful, neglected existence as somebody’s automotive bitch. There’s no pampering of any kind in its future, not even regular oil changes, just abuse, neglect, and plenty of quiet rusting.

Just after I decided to share this car with ya’ll, I thought to myself, “Judging from the overall condition of this car, I must be extra careful when taking pictures. I guarantee the owner is lurking somewhere in the vicinity just waiting to chase after me”.

Then I saw the goofy little modifications to the headlights – the white flames that look like eyelashes. It that doesn’t make this car look like a severely abused animal, I don’t know what does.

The rear end is showing signs of impending rust-related doom.

The wheel wells look like sloppy, jagged Saturday-morning pancakes in my household. That’s because I wake up so hungry, I just throw them on, otherwise I would pass out.

And finally, the crowning achievement in parking lot rampage, a big-ass dent on the driver’s side. Of course, the dent (like everything) is covered in rust.

This car is approaching the level of unsafe I used to live with when I drove my Cavalier (that’s a part of the door in the picture). Sadly, being a late-80’s Japanese car, it can probably go for another winter or two … wait … (to himself) We’re in Michigan, so … It’s going to go till next February. After that, it’s going to disintegrate on Michigan’s hellaciously salty roads.

I thought I almost escaped the wrath of this car’s owner, but I was wrong. A teen-aged person rushed out of the building, swinging what looked like a pair of homemade nunchucks. Because I’m categorically against those methods of dealing with bloggers, I peeled out of the parking lot in my clearly superior-looking Benz. In the rear view mirror I saw the teenager do a pretty intimidating-looking nunchuck routine.

I didn’t think I’d ever post pictures of a crappy truck because trucks are supposed to be kind of crappy after the lifetime of hard labor they are subjected to. However, this one is totally worth posting – it’s rusty, old, funny to look at, and crappy. It belongs to a friend of mine who is getting rid of it. He says that every time he would make it to his destination in this truck, he was thanking God he was alive and in one piece.

The gaping rust holes in the body of this hellbound monster remind me of my crappy old Cavalier … and I get vaclempt …

It doesn’t look so bad from this angle.

Not too bad from this angle, either …

But here’s where you all are wrong!

Introducing the fuel tank, aka the ticking timebomb primed to cooked the driver until well-done.

Right after I was done taking pictures, my friend was compelled as if by some mysterious force to chase after me, and he did. I barely made it to my car and peeled out of the driveway in an effort to save myself from his unrighteous wrath. I still heard his muffled screams and saw his ever-diminishing figure as I was speeding away …

Thank you Wes for this find. I felt like it deserves its own post. Hats off to the guys who Get-R-Done’d it up and are trying to jack it on eBay. To save you some surfing time, here’s the description and pics.

1997 Metro Geo general lee-roy. It’s back!! Thanks to the DEAD BEAT that didn’t pay up after winning the bid. I know he will be looking for this CHICK GITTER to be relisted therefore I say to him. ” DO NOT BID THIS TIME UNLESS YOU HAVE PAID YOUR BACK CHILD SUPPORT, CANCELLED YER HUNTING LEASE, SOLD THE BEER CAN COLLECTION TO THE LOCAL SCRAP YARD, AND WENT TO THE DENTIST TO HAVE YOUR WISDOM TEETH PUT IN. O.K. back to the car—- This car gets 35MPG, has almost new used tires,( hub caps optional @ $23.00 per set). Has a custom Fact-o-Bake paint job. Custom General Lee-Roy decals, Mopar 240 A/C ( that’s 2 windows down at 40MPH). This baby will do a 14.1min. 1/4 mile! Yes the doors to open, If you are a rather large indivdual you can enter through the hatch back ( If you still don’t fit I suggest you get on the JENNY CRACK DIET). If you wear driving glasses I can have a prescription windshield installed for an additional fee. It has two spit cup holders, CD player, and manuel windows. I’m no longer throwing in the GIT-R-DONE hat as part of this deal, I gave it to my other brother from a nother mother. I’m located in Livingston parish; if your not from Louisiana you can say Livingston county. This car will git you more attention than than a double wide with 20 inch chrome spinner rims going down the freeway behind bubba’s toter truck! YEE HAW

Check out the crappy Photoshop job on this one.

My comments? I’m speechless. Just looking at this car hurts so good.