Worrying about what other people think can be a serious barrier to saving money. My wife and I have many discussions about this, as she was raised in a small, gossipy town in a family of two teachers who had to be very mindful of what the community (and specifically the parents of their students) thought of them. It was the type of town where being seen in the grocery store with any of the following in your cart would definitely start rumors:
Condoms
Cigarettes
Any liquor
Any more than a six pack of beer or one bottle of wine
Looking at this list of “vices” from the perpective of saving money, I’d say condoms are the one thing that a true cheapskate should be able to justify, since having an unwanted pregnancy/child is just about the most expensive mistake a person can make in their lifetime. Why do people cower in fear at the thought of others seeing their contraception purchases? Back to my original point . . .
People often buy boats, hot tubs, power tools, a “nicer” car, designer clothing, etc. because of how they want to be perceived to others. The wife started a new job and immediately asked me to buy some new clothes even though the job doesn’t require nicer clothing than what she wears every day. Do you buy things to create an impression? Does your tricked-out garage make you the go-to guy for any tool? Are you the girl with a designer purse for every season? Are you the “it” couple in your neighborhood because of your giant deck, hot tub and fully stocked beer fridge? On a smaller scale, why are you paying for that very “in style” but second winter coat you’ll wear maybe twice? If you can afford all of it and it makes you happy, awesome. Go for it. I still believe most of us should take an extra moment before buying anything and ask ourselves, “Am I buying this because I truly need it or because I want others to like and admire me?”
We recently hosted friends and grilled burgers for dinner. We provided the burgers and toppings, they brought two side dishes. Yet, before they arrived, we felt the need to buy two moderately priced bottles of wine (one white one red) and two different six packs of beer, one of them being a “sampler” of three different kinds of beer from the same brand. We wanted to be “good hosts” and thought we needed to provide not only alcohol (which we normally reserve as a treat for ourselves) but such a quantity/variety. I realize that to folks possessing a perpetually stocked liquor cabinet, this amount of booze doesn’t seem like much. (look, there I go, imagining what people think) For our family, it was more than double what we normally spend since our typical payday Friday fare is a six pack of the cheapest beer we can stand to drink ice cold and a $5 bottle of wine.
Our guests consumed a total of three beers. The husband had two and the wife had one, all from the sampler pack. I’m pretty sure I picked up on the wife “not being much of a drinker”. Would they have enjoyed Miller Light just as much? Almost definitely. We spent money we didn’t need to spend on the idea that our guests (who really just wanted to hang out and have some laughs) would have an opinion about us if we didn’t offer them alcohol. Now, it is four days later and we have zero beers and 3/4 of one bottle of wine. On Sunday we talked briefly about saving the wine and making loaves of beer bread each week but with work more stressful than normal I haven’t been able to resist.
We won’t stop having friends over any time soon, so when they ask what to bring, now we’ll tell them: “Whatever you want to drink”.
