In case you are wondering, I’m here in Ukraine to show my wife to my family. Yeah, they’ve never met her. So we’re spending a month doing what all vacationers do – practically nothing.

A little info: Ukraine is a country in Eastern Europe (between Poland, Belarus, Russia, and Black Sea). Population – 50 mil. Currency – hryvna. Flag: horizontal blue and gold stripes of equal length. Languages – Ukrainian, Russian (yes, they are different). Famous for: cossacks, Oksana Bayul (figure skater), the Klitchko brothers (boxers), the Orange Revolution (December 2005), Olexander Potapenko (played for Boston Celtics), and, of course, Chernobyl.

Ukrainians always wanted to create their own state. Too bad for them – Russians, Lithuanians, Poles, Mongols, Tatars, Germans, Austians, and Hungarians throughout the people’s nearly 2,000-year-old history had other plans, namely to keep Ukraine separated along the resource boundaries and its people turned against each other.

Incredibly rich topsoil? Check. Industrious, agriculturally-oriented populace? Check. A huge river running through the center? Check. Exit to the Mediterranean? Check. Strategic positioning between Europe and Asia? Check. Natural resources, like boxites and coal? Check.

In 1991 Ukrainians finally got their way and formed their own state. Too bad for them the Russian foreign policy can be likened to an obnoxious guest who comes into your house and then three months later kicks you out of it and claims it as his own. During the latest elections, Russians had one of the candidates in their pocket, and did everything in their power (like bribing, racketeering, and cheating) to ensure his victory. People finally had enough, and the Orange Revolution ensued.

So what am I seeing here right now?

When I left in 1999, the country was still pretty much a bastard child of the USSR – crappy infrastructure, no foreign investment, and disillusioned people who have never seen a supermarket. Now you can find pretty much anything you’d expect to see in any other country – gorgeous malls, huge shopping centers, expensive cars, great entertainment, more than 3 channels on TV, etc.

The positives:

• Lack of effective laws make this place a paradise if you are bent on independence. Want to have a beer on the bus or some vodka in the subway? You can. Want the entire fifth season of the Sopranos for three bucks? You can get that, too. Want to get out of the traffic ticket? Just pay off the cop.
• Eveything is green, green, green. There’s lots of parks, river walks, and scenic drives. The air is clean and fresh even in the capital Kiev, a city 3 million strong.
• The food is cheap! I’ve just came back from the grocery store where I bought meat, cheese, sausage, beer, eggs … enough for 6 people … for under $10! You heard me.
• Everything you’re used to is still news here. Ukrainians have no idea how credit works. They are just now starting to get junk mail credit card applications in the mail. They are also just starting to buy/sell on the Internet. One could make a killing in the areas of credit lending and online payments. Actually, I’m hearing a guy with Western education can make upwards of five grand a month in those areas.
• The development is unbelievable. New gorgeous apartment complexes are going up, malls and shopping centers are being opened, cable Internet companies are starting to wire people up, banks are starting to give people car and house loans … you can see things being remodeled or torn down, and new things going up all the time.
• Everyone has a cellphone. I’ve met people with no TV sets, but with very modern-looking cellphones. The coverage is amazing. The cellphones also work like 1,000 feet underground … in the subway stations designed by the USSR engineers to double as bomb shelters. I got looked at weirdly when I said we have “fewest dropped calls” commercials in the States.

The negatives:

• Lack of foreign investment. Due to the volatility of political climate, no one wants to invest into Ukraine.
• The transportation infrastructure is still crappy. The roads, though getting better, are still in a bad shape. They’ve made a HUGE deal out of this one highway exit they built – it’s just a long on-ramp off the main highway – you’d think they’ve sent a man to Mars.
• The average paycheck is $300-350 a month.
• The traffic is insane. There are rarely markings on the road, so you can treat any road as a two lane road … or a five lane road. Drivers, it seems, just want to get to their destination regardless of what else happens. I had a chance to have my own car in Kiev, but I passed it up. No-o-o-o thanks.
• There is a huge gap between the rich and the poor. The smallest paycheck is around $60 a month. The largest – $10,000 and up.
• The mentality of the people is definitely … uhm … different. Everything is done to impress – I’ve seen people who make $200 a month with $600 cellphones, people who rent housing but drive brand new Skoda Octavias, etc. No one cares you’re poor – hey, the rest of the country is poor, too. But don’t you dare to LOOK POOR! Get into debt, but look good! Now! Needless to say, I looked a little out-of-place in my Vans, Central Michigan University t-shirts, cut-off jeans, and with complete lack of gold man-jewelry.

And some pics …

Here’s a typical Ukrainian house (not unlike the one I grew up in), probably home to some old lady.

Ukrainian Craigslist.

A brick house with a tower? Sweet…

A dude wearing pink slippers? Awesome!

New construction.

An old apartment building. Very typical.

These are savings accounts interest rates if you deposit in gryvnas, dollars, and euros respectively. Yeah, I know.